My Mental Health: Part two, Weight

So this is the second part of my mental health series where I disclose struggles that I’ve never brought to light to anyone aside from myself.
In this section, i will be focusing on one of my biggest issues……. my weight.

My weight has been one of the biggest problems that I have had to deal with from a very young age to the present. And to be honest, it has caused me to indulge in some rather damaging practices.

The first issues that I came across were eating disorders with the first being anorexia.
This is when I had just started having a problem with my weight and as any other teen out there, my method to deal with it was to starve myself. However, because I loved food too much, it didn’t take long for me to quit the practice of starving myself and switch to another issue….. bulimia.

The problem here is that I often switched back and forth between bulimia and anorexia.
What would often happen is that there would be a period of time where I was anorexic and then there would be another period of time where I would be bulimic.
I remember clearly that I would starve myself for periods of time before I would binge eat on large amounts of food and then purge right after.
Doing this was not only damaging to my mental health but my physical health as well.
There would be some times where I would be weak, sick and lightheaded, normal at others, and have diarrhea at the rest.

The second problem with my weight are the pills that I used to take.
The first time I took weight loss pills was Hydroxycut black and it wreaked havoc on my body.
For the first week, I was able to lose weight and I did slim down by three inches around my waist, however, the next two weeks were absolute HELL for me and my body.
During the second week, I was having diarrhea but it wasn’t like normal diarrhea but rather clear water which was not only alarming but also rather painful.
By the third week, I was feeling very weak and nauseous most of the time which resulted in me vomiting every couple of days.
The worst part is that even the slightest bit of stress would set me off and cause me to begin gagging and eventually vomit.

The purpose of this story is to tell others out there who may be going through the same issues that I have been and currently still am dealing with.
Please do not partake in any of these habits as it does so much more harm to your body than good.
I hope you all the best out there.

My Mental Health: Part one, Depression

This is going to be another one of those touchy subjects for not only myself but for others as well.

My mental health is not the best considering what I’ve gone through at a young age. Granted that I have matured much quicker than people my age, that rate of maturation does take a toll on one’s mental health.

One of the problems that I do have to deal with is depression.
Depression is often seen as just a “bad mood” or having a bad day. The reaction that people generally have towards depression is to just “shake it off” or to “just get over it”.
Unfortunately, depression is not that easy to take care of.
The way I would describe depression is as a chronic disease that constantly inconveniences you in more ways than one. Depression saps your energy, causes you to lose passion and interest, and causes you to belittle yourself.

This is something that I have to constantly deal with as depression is something that has affected me at a very young age because of the struggles that I had to go through. The struggles that I am referring to are not financial struggles but rather social ones.
At a very young age I was severly bullied and not in ways you would think of. There were things that everyone gets bullied about like weight and height but that’s not what caused my depression. I was constantly picked on simply because I was interested in the newest Scientific American magazine instead of the new Halo video game that was just released. I was bullied for being the nerd of the class and carrying books instead of playing football. I was even picked on for having an interest in Spiderman and Superman instead of being interested in G.I. Joe. But the worst part my bullying was being called a pedophile at the age of 14 simply because I wanted to join a game of tag with kids that were around my age. This was something that really cut deep at that age. Think about it……